My Daughter

My Daughter
Remember when you learned how to do this?

Friday, August 02, 2013

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
  • 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Center for Disease Control)
  • 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average.  (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.  (National Principals Association Report)
Father Factor in Education - Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.
  • Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.
  • Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.
  • Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.
  • Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.
  • 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average.
Father Factor in Drug and Alcohol Abuse - Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Teens in single mother households are at a 30% higher risk than those in two-parent households.
  • 70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.  (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)
  • 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)
Father Factor in Incarceration – Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds. A 2002 Department of Justice survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother-only households. Approximately forty-six percent of jail inmates in 2002 had a previously incarcerated family member. One-fifth experienced a father in prison or jail.
Father Factor in Crime - A study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency. Adolescents, particularly boys, in single-parent families were at higher risk of status, property and person delinquencies. Moreover, students attending schools with a high proportion of children of single parents are also at risk. A study of 13,986 women in prison showed that more than half grew up without their father. Forty-two percent grew up in a single-mother household and sixteen percent lived with neither parent
Father Factor in Child Abuse – Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect. The overall rate of child abuse and neglect in single-parent households is 27.3 children per 1,000, whereas the rate of overall maltreatment in two-parent households is 15.5 per 1,000.
Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.
Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers.
  • 43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]
  • 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
  • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]
  • 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]
  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]
  • 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]
  • 90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, “Dousing the Kindlers,” Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]
  • 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]
  • 75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows f for all God’s Children]
  • 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]
  • 85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]
  • Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]

Census Fatherhood Statistics

  • 64.3 million: Estimated number of fathers across the nation
  • 26.5 million: Number of fathers who are part of married-couple families with their own children under the age of 18.
    Among these fathers -
    • 22 percent are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old (among married-couple family households only).
    • 2 percent live in the home of a relative or a non-relative.
  • 2.5 million: Number of single fathers, up from 400,000 in 1970. Currently, among single parents living with their children, 18 percent are men.
    Among these fathers -
    • 8 percent are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old.
    • 42 percent are divorced, 38 percent have never married, 16 percent are separated and 4 percent are widowed. (The percentages of those divorced and never married are not significantly different from one another.)
    • 16 percent live in the home of a relative or a non-relative.
    • 27 percent have an annual family income of $50,000 or more.
  • 85 percent: Among the 30.2 million fathers living with children younger than 18, the percentage who lived with their biological children only.
    • 11 percent lived with step-children
    • 4 percent with adopted children
    • < 1 percent with foster children
    Recent policies encourage the development of programs designed to improve the economic status of low-income nonresident fathers and the financial and emotional support provided to their children. This brief provides ten key lessons from several important early responsible fatherhood initiatives that were developed and implemented during the 1990s and early 2000s. Formal evaluations of these earlier fatherhood efforts have been completed making this an opportune time to step back and assess what has been learned and how to build on the early programs’ successes and challenges.While the following statistics are formidable, the Responsible Fatherhood research literature generally supports the claim that a loving and nurturing father improves outcomes for children, families and communities.
  • Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.
  • Studies on parent-child relationships and child wellbeing show that father love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults.
  • 24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.
  • Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.
  • 43 percent of first marriages dissolve within fifteen years; about 60 percent of divorcing couples have children; and approximately one million children each year experience the divorce of their parents.
  • Fathers who live with their children are more likely to have a close, enduring relationship with their children than those who do not.
  • Compared to children born within marriage, children born to cohabiting parents are three times as likely to experience father absence, and children born to unmarried, non-cohabiting parents are four times as likely to live in a father-absent home.
  • About 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen their father at all during the past year; 26 percent of absent fathers live in a different state than their children; and 50 percent of children living absent their father have never set foot in their father’s home.
  • Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.
  • From 1995 to 2000, the proportion of children living in single-parent homes slightly declined, while the proportion of children living with two married parents remained stable.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Why the Gun is Civilization

By Marko Kloos
Reproduced by permission of the author.

Human beings only have two ways to deal with one another: reason and force. If you want me to do something for you, you have a choice of either convincing me via argument, or force me to do your bidding under threat of force. Every human interaction falls into one of those two categories, without exception. Reason or force, that’s it.

In a truly moral and civilized society, people exclusively interact through persuasion. Force has no place as a valid method of social interaction, and the only thing that removes force from the menu is the personal firearm, as paradoxical as it may sound to some.

When I carry a gun, you cannot deal with me by force. You have to use reason and try to persuade me, because I have a way to negate your threat or employment of force. The gun is the only personal weapon that puts a 100-pound woman on equal footing with a 220-pound mugger, a 75-year old retiree on equal footing with a 19-year old gang-banger, and a single gay guy on equal footing with a carload of drunk guys with baseball bats. The gun removes the disparity in physical strength, size, or numbers between a potential attacker and a defender.

There are plenty of people who consider the gun as the source of bad force equations. These are the people who think that we’d be more civilized if all guns were removed from society, because a firearm makes it easier for a mugger to do his job. That, of course, is only true if the mugger’s potential victims are mostly disarmed either by choice or by legislative fiat–it has no validity when most of a mugger’s potential marks are armed. People who argue for the banning of arms ask for automatic rule by the young, the strong, and the many, and that’s the exact opposite of a civilized society. A mugger, even an armed one, can only make a successful living in a society where the state has granted him a force monopoly.

Then there’s the argument that the gun makes confrontations lethal that otherwise would only result in injury. This argument is fallacious in several ways. Without guns involved, confrontations are won by the physically superior party inflicting overwhelming injury on the loser. People who think that fists, bats, sticks, or stones don’t constitute lethal force watch too much TV, where people take beatings and come out of it with a bloody lip at worst. The fact that the gun makes lethal force easier works solely in favor of the weaker defender, not the stronger attacker. If both are armed, the field is level. The gun is the only weapon that’s as lethal in the hands of an octogenarian as it is in the hands of a weightlifter. It simply wouldn't work as well as a force equalizer if it wasn't both lethal and easily employable.
When I carry a gun, I don’t do so because I am looking for a fight, but because I’m looking to be left alone. The gun at my side means that I cannot be forced, only persuaded. I don’t carry it because I’m afraid, but because it enables me to be unafraid. It doesn't limit the actions of those who would interact with me through reason, only the actions of those who would do so by force. It removes force from the equation … and that’s why carrying a gun is a civilized act.

Monday, December 31, 2012


Next week is Fathers Day. Today we feature an article in the important role fathers play in the development of their daughters personality, values and behavior.
At a time when the possibility of creating babies without men is no longer solely in the realm of science fiction, and when many children live without their fathers, due to divorce and relationship breakdown, the importance of fatherhood is in serious danger of becoming an antiquated notion. Of recent times, however, there has been some acknowledgement of the great need for boys to have a father, or at least, a father figure, in their lives. Yet little is said of the enormous importance of fatherhood in the lives of girls.
Never before has our culture been so dangerous for girls and young women, and, therefore, never before have girls so needed good, strong and protective fathers in their lives. Our society sends messages to even very young girls through the media, advertising and movies, that being sexy is extremely important. It tells teenage girls that it is normal and healthy to experiment with sex. Girls are in greater danger today of being sexually or physically assaulted, of having an eating disorder, an alcohol addiction, and of being depressed or suicidal than they were 20 years ago.
Dr Meg Meeker, a specialist in pediatric and adolescent medicine, has 20 years' experience counselling girls, young women and their families. She has found that the most important factor in a girl's life is her father. The quality of a girl's relationship with her father has a huge impact on the formation of her personality, her level of self-esteem, confidence and happiness, and therefore on the choices she makes in life. A father has the potential to give his daughter something that her mother cannot.
In her book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know, Dr Meeker pleads with fathers to recognize and to act on the necessity for them to defend and protect their daughters from "a very toxic, woman-unfriendly culture". She understands from her years of experience counselling teen girls that fathers can do this in a way that mothers cannot. Just in case we need convincing that our culture really is bad for girls, she lists some very disturbing facts:
• 11.9 per cent of females will experience forced intercourse.
• 40.9 per cent of girls 14 to 17 years old experience unwanted sex, primarily because they fear that their boyfriends will get angry.
• There are five to six million new cases of human papilloma virus (HPV) infections annually.
• HPV is spread through sexual contact. Some HPV strains cause cancer. HPV is responsible for approximately 99 per cent of all cervical cancer cases in women.
• If a girl takes oral contraceptives for more than five years, she is four times more likely to develop cervical cancer.
• 35.5 per cent of all high school girls have had sad, hopeless feelings for longer than two weeks.
• Engaging in sex puts girls at higher risk of depression.
• 11.5 per cent of females attempted suicide last year.
Also presented are some facts about the influence of fathers on their daughters:
• Daughters who perceive that their fathers care a lot about them, who feel connected with their fathers, have significantly fewer suicide attempts and fewer instances of body dissatisfaction, depression, low self-esteem, substance use and unhealthy weight.
• A daughter's self-esteem is best predicted by her father's physical affection.
• Girls with good fathers are less likely to flaunt themselves to seek male attention.
• Girls with involved fathers wait longer to initiate sex and have lower rates of teen pregnancy.
• 76 per cent of teen girls said that their fathers influenced their decisions on whether they should become sexually active.
Girls today are pushed to be more independent and autonomous at earlier and earlier ages, and parents are afraid of being too protective. In our culture however, girls are vulnerable in many ways that boys are not, and are in need of more protection. Dr Meeker emphasizes the need for fathers to monitor their daughters' exposure to potentially harmful media and also to be vigilant when they start dating boys.
She says: "One in 11 middle and high school students has been hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose while dating. Another one in 11 said they were forced to have sexual intercourse. "An astonishing 96 per cent of students report that they have experienced emotional or psychological abuse while dating. Girls are markedly more at risk than boys in every one of these statistics."
It is also true that a girl whose father is protective (e.g., one who sets boundaries and curfews and makes a point of meeting the boys she dates), feels more loved and valued and therefore places more value on herself. A girl who places more value on herself is less likely to engage in risky behaviors  such as casual sex, binge-drinking or taking drugs. It is not enough for a father to be present in his daughter's life; he must also be actively involved in her life. This requires spending time alone with his daughter on a regular basis.
Dr Meeker asserts that it is important for a father to initiate this time spent alone with his daughter because she won't ask for it herself. A daughter wants to please her father and not be a nuisance to him when she can see that his life is busy.
The differences between sons and daughters mean that a father must engage differently with his daughter than he does with his son. "You might spend three hours watching a football game with your son and never say a word — and both of you would be happy. But your daughter isn't wired like that. You have to talk to her." One of the great myths that our society perpetuates is that teenagers need their space. During the teenage years, a daughter needs her father more than ever, and fathers often misinterpret their daughter's behavior.
Dr Meeker writes: "Many fathers complain that their teenage daughters won't talk to them. They're usually wrong. It's just that these fathers have discouraged their daughters from talking to them. Daughters won't talk if they know the result will be only constant reprimand and correction." Often daughters are not looking for anything other than for their dads to listen to them, focus on them and show interest in them.
"If a daughter can trust her dad to listen, she will come to him again and again to talk," says Dr Meeker. It does not matter if a daughter has a higher IQ than her father. He does not need to entertain her. All he needs to do is be with her, listen to her and talk to her. Dr Meeker points out that "one of the primary treatments for girls with eating disorders" is for them to spend more time alone with their fathers. It is also extremely important for a father to frequently show physical affection for his daughter.
According to Dr Meeker, many girls begin having sex with their boyfriends purely because they do not receive any physical affection from their fathers. The simple act of a father giving his daughter a hug should not be under-estimated. A father who tells his daughter often that he loves her is building up her sense of self-worth, enabling her to resist the negative and demoralizing messages she receives from our culture about what it means to be a female.
Many a father withdraws from his daughter during her teenage years or when she is moody and seems to want to be left alone. According to Dr Meeker, this is the worst thing a father can do. A father needs to fight for his daughter, to fight for his relationship with her, especially when things seem to be going wrong in her life. A father who fights for his daughter, to remain a part of her life, will ultimately be rewarded with her love and admiration. Daughters respect fathers who are strong, courageous and protective.
Furthermore, a woman is highly likely to choose a boyfriend or husband based on the qualities, whether good or bad, that she sees in her father. This alone demonstrates the awesome responsibility that comes with fatherhood. There is something very special and particular about the relationship between a father and daughter, which has the potential to protect a girl emotionally, physically and psychologically, as no other relationship in her life can.
Fathers need to trust their own instincts as men. For too long they have allowed themselves to be cowed by radical feminists in their ivory towers and the PC police who say that it is sexist for fathers to be too protective of their daughters. As the evidence in Dr Meeker's book shows overwhelmingly, a protective, loving and involved father can often, literally, save his daughter's life. 

Monday, July 30, 2012

Facebook "like" campaigns

The proliferation of so-called Facebook "like" campaigns has become a daily reality for most Facebook users. It's pretty much impossible now to miss these "like" or "share" campaigns, which all follow a similar formula.

On it's surface, these "fund-raising" efforts seem like a near perfect use of social media to benefit the less fortunate among us. A brief search for "like" campaigns reveals many such efforts, which all ask for users to "like" or "share" the Facebook post, promising to donate money to "insert cause here", when a certain number is reached.

This format is so popular, that an entire business model has emerged which teaches people how to create and promote these campaigns

The problem here is that the vast majority of these campaigns are just "for profit" companies exploiting people's  desire to help others.

Here's how it works:

  • Find a person, group or animal in need. (Much more effective if there is a sad photo of the subject available.)
  • Create a website which purports to be a "charity" asking for donations for the subject.
  • Create a Facebook campaign which claims a money donation for the subject if people will only "like" or "share" your Facebook post.
  • Link to your "charity" website which asks for actual donations.
  • Profit!
Here's a current example:


If we follow the instruction on this post we are directed here:

Where we find that almost anyone can create a campaign and receive donations. And this website pockets a reported 5% of your donations.

"Today, campaigns that raise money for medical funds make up about 17 percent of all user activity. Campaigns for school tuition, which make up 11 percent of activity, and those for volunteer trips, at 10 percent, round out the top three use cases.
While it has gotten a slow start relative to some other platforms, GoFundMe has seen 20 percent growth month-over-month since last October. It charges a 5 percent fee for its campaigns and last month pulled in more than $2 million. Based on its current growth trajectory, GoFundMe expects to raise more than $37 million in for 2012."

That's $100,000 profit for this company... in a month. They do this with a whopping 4 employees.

Even if nobody donates actual money, these companies still get paid. Google and other search providers track the number of visitors a website receives. These search engines "rank" the popularity of websites based on the number of visitors you attract. (Among other things) This translates into "page rank" which is used to calculate the relative value of your website. Another important factor in determining PageRank are the website's InLinks. How many other websites link to your website, and what is their PageRank? The higher the linking site's PageRank, the more Rank points your site receives as a result.

I do this myself, right here on this blog.

Here's a shoe ad:

What I don't do is try to trick you...

So these campaigns basically translate our collective good intentions, into a marketing tool they use to promote their websites, as well as their customers. They can sell links to other websites from their higher ranking website for a profit.

If you click through to the linked website for most of these charity campaigns, what you will find is nothing more than a clever marketing scheme designed to leverage this process for profit.

Worse, none of these companies are sending any donations of their own for your "like" or "share". There is also no guarantee that actual donations ever reach the subject of the campaign.

There are some great charities out there which will use your donations to actually help others... but Facebook "like" campaigns are not doing what you think they are.

I would use the word SCUM, but I didn't want to insult actual scum.